Top 10 Craziest Things... #3

#3  -  Thunderbird (MI) Race Park 6/30/07

Evergreen (MI) Auto Park 7/1/07

What Happened:  As you may have noticed in the last week or two, the list has somewhat shifted from the top 10 "craziest things" to the top ten "biggest fiascos". Words can’t even begin to describe the circus I witnessed in Michigan in 2007.  The following is my column (as it appeared in RPM Racing News) covering the disastrous events at Thunderbird Race Park and Evergreen Auto Park last season.

With a rare night off from the Lucas Oil Series, I opted to head northwest four hours to Muskegon, MI's Thunderbird Race Park on Saturday, June 30th.  Road construction, bad drivers, and high gas prices reminded me of why I don't like driving in Michigan.  One groove race tracks, poor track prep, and late shows reminded me of why I don't like racing in Michigan.

As I walked in the gate, I thought I was at an asphalt race as the track looked like it hadn't been watered since Christ was a carpenter.  I arrived at 5:30pm and they had just finished Hot Laps.  Not sure why they ran Hot Laps that early. 

Advertised as a 3/8-mile, Thunderbird is closer to a 3/10 mile with short straightaways and long, sweeping turns.  The pits are off the backstretch as well as turns 3 & 4, allowing cars to exit the track at the end of the backchute and enter the track at the beginning of the frontstretch.  To say this facility is “outdated” would be an understatement of epic proportions as concrete medians and mounds of dirt line the track, and then there's "yuke" tires on top of those concrete medians.  No kidding.

The catchfence around the track appears to be the only thing built in the last 100 years.  The wooden bleachers seemed fairly sturdy, yet “splinter-ful”, and provided a fair view of the action despite the poorest lighting I've seen at a track since my visit to Stanton Family Speedway in '03.  The infield is all dirt mounds and grass, while the low-setting flagstand partially blocks your view of the backstretch.  Meanwhile, a lawnmower and weedeater would do wonders with the midway area behind the grandstands.  Nevertheless, concession prices were fair with chicken fries going for $3.00 and a 24 ounce pop selling for $2.00.

Thankfully, racing did start right at 7pm with 29 ALMS Late Models, 23 Modifieds, 16 Street Stocks, 22 Bombers, and 8 Mini-Stocks filling the pits.  Starting on time is about the only positive I can muster up on this subpar night of action, or lack thereof.  The racing at Thunderbird was forgettable as the rock hard track surface turned nearly every event into a one-lane snoozefest.  The only way to pass was by plowing someone out of the way, or by slidejobbing some poor, unsuspecting oyster on a restart.  With the dust and the horrid lighting, I can't be certain, but I think local hotshoe Elex Layton won the ALMS feature, which was the very last event run.  Why do some tracks insist on running their headliner last??  Ugh!  Regrettably, Thunderbird was Career Track #107.

In an effort to help heal the scars from the previous night's disaster, I opted to stop at Evergreen Auto Park in Osseo, MI on my way home Sunday.  Let’s just cut to the chase.  This was, without a doubt, the worst decision I have ever made in my life, even surpassing that of the infamous trip to Stanton Family Speedway a few years back.

Now, I feel as though I'm a pretty good person.  I'd like to think I've paid my dues and have been a loyal and trustworthy friend to my peers.  I believe in God and go to church, but I also believe God has a sense of humor and occasionally likes to see my reaction to the various situations I get myself into.  That couldn't have been more true on Sunday, July 1st.

Evergreen was just a tad on the dusty side.

Located just 3 miles north of the Ohio/Michigan border, Evergreen Auto Park is located near Osseo, MI and races on Sunday afternoons.  The catchy name makes it seem like a big, beautiful establishment with lots of cars and lots of racing.  Driving into the place, I had to wonder what I was getting myself into when the lady at the gate only charged me $6.  When I questioned the $6 admission price, she must have thought that I thought I was being overcharged.  So, she happily informed me that my six bucks also allowed me to be in the pits too.  If that wasn't enough, I was wondering even more what I had gotten myself into when I had to drive down the one-lane dirt road, though the open field, and into the pits.  Thinking I had to drive though the pits to get the general admission section, I kept on driving until a track worker stopped me about 20 feet before I was about to drive onto the track, and that, my friends, no lie.

With racing scheduled to start at 1pm, I arrived at the track right in the nick of time.  When I noticed I was the only car parked in the general admission parking lot (and I use the term "parking lot" loosely), I was thinking "what the hell".  Friends, what I witnessed on this day was a spectacle that words almost cannot describe. 

3 Late Models, 7 Mini Sprints, and 7 Street Stocks were on hand.  In 20 years of attending races, this is the lowest car count I have ever seen (beating the 33 cars in 5 classes I witnessed at Stanton Family Speedway).  With Hot Laps already complete, I walked into the driver's meeting where some guy in the back of a truck was having drivers draw for heat race starting spots out of a hat...   literally.

Evergreen appeared to be a homebuilt 1/4 mile track with tight corners.  The surface was dirt and I mean that in the most literal sense of the word.  It wasn’t clay, it was dirt.  When the cars raced on it, it stirred up a dust cloud similar to that of a Baja race, making it nearly impossible for me to even see the 13-year-old flagman, let alone the track itself or the cars that were on it.

The general admission section at Evergreen was nothing more than an area about 100 feet by 30 feet, marked off with stakes and red caution tape.  No seating left me wishing I had my lawn chair, and knee-high grass left me wishing I had a can of bug spray.  Of course, with only 26 spectators (another all-time low), what should one expect?  The pits are behind the general admission area with a set of bushes being the only buffer between the two.  Cars both enter and exit the speedway in turn one, and the rest of track has a guardrail all the way around it with a catchfence along the frontchute.  According to the sign on the building, the concession stand offers three items:  Drinks for $1.00, Chips for $.50, and Hot Dogs for a donation.  There's no lights, no PA system, and no press box.  The lone scorer sits in a lawn chair under the flagstand.

I can't make this stuff up.

One heat in each of the three classes would be all that was needed.  So I'm hoping this would be a quick program and I could get the hell outta there...   and eventually wake up, thus realizing the entire Michigan weekend was nothing more than a bad dream.  Unfortunately, none of that happened.  

Racing started at 1:45pm and the first two heats were so dusty I couldn't even tell which class was racing.  The Evergreen staff then came up with the novel of idea of putting water on the track, so that delayed the show another 45 minutes.  With so many cars in the pits, I decided to wander around and check out all the sites.  Among the things I found were a 1984 Jiggalo Chassis, a black snake, and some old bearded coot who looked like a member of the Oak Ridge Boys.

The third and final heat of the day rolled out at 2:30pm, and that was immediately followed by a 4-car dash for cash for the micro sprints, and a 4-car dash for the Street Stocks.  Yes, they ran dashes.  No, I don't know why.  The dashes were every bit as entertaining as you might imagine and they were followed by another rousing round of water truck racing.  By this time, it's 3:15pm and I'm cursing the world.  At 3:45pm the Micro Sprint feature hits the track and it couldn't even be run without 3 yellows by the trigger happy kid who was flagging.  When the water truck came out and absolutely inundated the surface with water at 4:00pm I said “the hell with this” and left. 

This place had 17 cars.  I gave them 3 hours to run their show, and they couldn't pull it off.  What a disaster. Nevertheless, Evergreen does become Career Track #108, and manages to pull off the unthinkable by positioning itself with Stanton Family Speedway and Golden Mountain Raceway Park as one of the all-time biggest fiascos I have ever attended.  The circus at Evergreen combined with the trip to Thunderbird has made me vow that I will NEVER go to a race in Michigan again. 

Looking Back:  Well, my stance on racing in Michigan has changed a little since this was written five years ago.  There ARE some good tracks "up north", but this particular weekend certainly didn't highlight either of them.  If I was simply listing THE craziest thing I have ever seen in all my years of racing, Evergreen Auto Park could very well top the list.